Tired, Fed Up, and Considering Moving to Canada

Okay, so the last part of that title isn’t quite true. I’m waiting for the final results of the election before I make any relocation plans. In all seriousness though, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as shocked and repulsed as I did watching the election. If I thought the nauseous feeling in my stomach was bad in 2016, it was nothing compared to last night.

A quick disclaimer that this post is very political/contains strong language and my own opinions and rants. Because what else would you expect from a sleep-deprived, politically-charged twenty-year-old who’s fed up with misinformed and close-minded adults making all the decisions?

Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Anyway, back to me feeling sick last night. Did I expect a blowout? No. Did I expect Biden to have a solid lead? I was cautiously optimistic. But I certainly didn’t expect such a close race. (Seriously, who’s conducting these misleading polls?) As I sat on the couch in my TV room, my two moms sitting next to me, and watched as more districts and states on John King’s magic wall turned red, I couldn’t believe it. It felt like 2016 déjà vu.

It genuinely baffles me how people—and so many at that—can vote for the bigoted, ignorant, disgusting man “running” this country; a man who once bragged about grabbing women by the pussy; a man who continues to spew hatred every time he opens his mouth or tweets; a man who has broken more rules and has had more scandals than any president in American history; a man who has taken an already-divided country and completely ripped it apart. And let’s not forget that this is the man who is responsible for thousands of people dying because he refuses to believe in science and wear a goddamn mask.

At least in 2016 no one knew how much damage this man was capable of causing.

But this is 2020, nearly four years of witnessing Trump wreak havoc in office. How can so many Americans still think he’s a good leader—or simply a leader at all? How can so many Americans still believe his lies and support his open, unabashed prejudice? And let’s not forget we’ve got four more years of McConnell and Graham too (howdidthishappen?).

A lot of people will say I’m overreacting; that I’m being a “poor sport” because my candidate might lose. But this isn’t a fucking basketball game; for many of us, our rights and our freedom are literally threatened by Trump. My rights as a queer female, my same-sex parents’ rights, my gay friends’ rights, my black friends’ rights, my Jewish extended family’s rights are all at stake. And that’s fucking terrifying, knowing that the leader of my country doesn’t just dislike me but wants to take my freedom away. The worst part is; I know I have it much better than many other people on Trump’s shitlist. At least he doesn’t despise the skin color I was born with.

If you’ve never experienced that fear, then you have no right to tell people not to be upset about the results of last night.

Honestly, even if Biden does pull through (and I have to remain hopeful that he will), I won’t be truly happy because that won’t change the fact that, despite all the awful things Trump has done, millions stood by him last night—and will continue to support his close-minded beliefs for years, decades, probably even centuries to come. And that’s a bitter pill to swallow.

2020, simply put, has been a complete clusterfuck. Worst. Year. Ever. It’s caused irreversible damage and brought immense pain to individuals and families across America and the world. Just when I thought there was a chance for some redemption, I was sadly mistaken. Because although Democrats turned out in unprecedented numbers, Republicans did too.

If you’re like me and feel upset, sad, scared, angry, disgusted, or all of the above right now, I advise you not to internalize it. Write about it, confide in someone you trust, do something that will make you smile or laugh or simply distract from this political pandemonium. Above all, look after yourself this week. It’s going to be a long and stressful haul so please prioritize your mental health and don’t get down on yourself. You did your part yesterday by showing up and participating in democracy. What happens next is out of anyone’s control.

The best we can do at this moment is to take care of ourselves and keep hope alive. And if things really do go to hell, at least there’s still Canada.

15 Comments on “Tired, Fed Up, and Considering Moving to Canada”

  1. Truly sad and infuriating, and very well put, Julia. I agree with everything you said, except the part about moving to Canada. It’s a bit of American privilege to think that we Americans can just move to Canada when things get bad, but we can’t. You have to be accepted based on a point system – speaking French, having an in-demand skill or a lot of money to invest, having Canadian relatives, graduating from a Canadian university, etc. I just looked this up on the Canadian government website, and I didn’t qualify. When I went back to look at it again, the site had crashed – probably too many people doing that search this morning! So we’re just going to have to hunker down and take care of ourselves and work to make things better here.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yeah, I don’t actually plan on moving to Canada; it’s just that everything seems so hopefully and stuck in America right now so it’s nice to think of a way out. But I know it’s unrealistic and idealistic–especially now that you’ve pointed out all the requirements! I agree completely that the best thing we can do is work on improving things here. It’s going to be a lot of work but I’m still choosing to believe that positive change is possible.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s Canada for you, but Canada doesn’t take old people. We would tax their health care system. I’m considering Portugal or Panama. At least it now looks like Biden will make it here, even though we will have to put up with Graham and McConnell. I’ve been told that I don’t understand what’s happening because I live in a bubble where everyone around me thinks alike. Now we can understand how what happened in 1930s Germany happened. It’s appalling to have watched it happening here. Take good care of your Moms and yourself and please send everyone my best. Helen


    Liked by 1 person

    • I also feel like I live in a bubble in WeHa when these things happen haha. I’m very hopeful Biden will pull through, looks like he might but it’s still so close! Take care too ❤


  3. Hi Julia,

    All of your posts are excellent and I enjoy reading them as they always reaffirm that you are an amazing writer with an understanding of what is going on in this crazy world and what we must try to do to fix what we can.

    Your feelings on election night were just like those experienced by my daughter and me. I said right from the start that if that orange moron loses we still have to live in a country with too many people who think the way he does. My mother started to train me to be an activist when I was only six years old so you can imagine what I have been through in 81 years. I was resolved to thinking that if we had to live here with that horrible excuse for a leader I would have to leave the country or at least become a recluse. I could not see myself out in public where I would be yelling at people and starting protests and ending up in jail which is not a good place for an old lady.

    Keep up the great work that you do by sharing your experiences with us with such candor.

    Sincerely, Alberta


    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Alberta! Those feelings were so strong that this post took, like, ten minutes tops to write. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through but I’m so thankful for you and everyone else who continues to fight to make change even when it’s one disappointment after another. I’m so hopeful Biden will pull through but I know that no matter what happens, it’s going to be difficult getting that orange moron out! I honestly can’t wait for the day when I can wake up and won’t see his face everywhere!


  4. (From my view as just a teen) I agree with you, it honestly is so sad how even if Biden were to get elected, that does not ignore what Trump has done, politically or not. It will stick with those millions of people who have been hurt by him. He should be in jail, anyways.
    I know I may be too young to have these opinions, but I think it is clear that we deserve better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re definitely not too young to have these opinions. Honestly, young people seem to be the most compassionate, educated, and level-headed when it comes to politics these days. I remember how frustrated I was after the 2016 election (I was too young to vote then) because I felt like I had no power or control. But just by speaking up, you’re making a difference.

      Hopefully, Trump will lose this one, get arrested, and spend a very long time in jail to pay for all the horrible things he’s done and all the people he’s hurt.


  5. I relate to your frustration, Julia. Poor excuse for a president or human being. It’s a real head-shaker that anyone with half a brain would support anything he stands for (lying, misogyny, a blatant disregard for human life). All we can do is focus on creating a better world in any way we can and leave him and his followers to go by the way of the rest of the dinosaurs, because eventually, they will 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • How so many people continue to support him is something I doubt I’ll ever understand. I’d like to think they’re becoming less and less but after how close the election was I’m not so sure. It’s difficult now but knowing that, like you say, they’ll eventually fade away (and hopefully sooner than later) helps a lot. Thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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